The Neglected

Friends!

I have been playing the facebook numbers game. If you don't know what that is , its when you ask all your friends to send you a message with a number. You then post the number and all your thoughts about this person. Only you and the person know who they are. At first I found this intimidating but quickly once the game began I realized that every single person has something I value. I have over 400 facebook friends. One would assume I cannot possibly know them all or care for them all, but after playing this game I'm thinking that perhaps i do. for every person I clicked "accept".  I am a very real and honest and transparent person on facebook, and even more so on this blog which is then linked to my facebook so everyone i friend has the opportunity to know me intimately. That was a decision I made a long time ago. Be honest, or do not take the time away from family, teaching, learning, or laundry. If I could not be real then there was no reason to be present here. Recently I have been considering clearing out some of my friends but now i am pondering why i accepted their friendship in the first place. for each person there was a connection, there was a past or a present or perhaps i saw a future. As the game forces me to think about my true feelings for many of these friends I realize that there is a reason each and every one came into my life. I thank you all for being there and for sharing your lives with me on some small level. what a blessing :)

Out of those 400 there are some that i really am close friends with. Many i share a special connection with and even some are family (or should be). As I started to get lots of numbers in my inbox i realized that this game is alot of work. I considered not participating anymore and just forgetting the whole thing. but then i thought , what about that person who messaged me and never hears back. What will they think, will their feelings be hurt, will they be angry, will they forever wonder if i simply had nothing nice to say about them. I realized at that point that this game is alot like real life friendship. It is a commitment and sometimes it is hard work. Sometimes you may step away because you don't have time, but you can always come back and nurture those friendships. If you don't, there will be hurt feelings, or anger, or perhaps it will simply fade away.

My life is so busy, friendships are one thing i truly neglect. I have found the friends closest to me are the ones who know my chaos and reach out to me, at which point i will stop and share a moment with them. This simply should not be. Friendships are important, they are a gift from God. They are essential and they help maintain who we are besides just mom, cook, employee etc. I want my children to see a better example in me. I want them to see outwardly how much i cherish my friendships on the inside. I want them to grow up and do the same. Recently i have been doing better, Ive been setting aside Friday's after gymnastics just to sit and be with friends. Im so thankful to these ladies for setting this example for me. Im doing my best to extend it to my far away friends as well, a phone call, a note, even an email just to know that i do think of you and miss you. The game also helped me realize that I need to take the time to nurture my "sapling" friendships. Not to let the blessing of a kind woman pass me by simply because i was too busy.

Often I am content in my own little shell, our  happy little home full of beautiful children and sometimes i think i could just stay there forever. the truth is that God saw fit to cross my path with many special and wonderful people. Aside from the Bible I learned everything I know that is worth knowing, from friendship. I promise to do better and return the favor. Thank you  to everyone who has spent time maintaining a friendship with me, even when i haven't done the same.