spillin the beans

First I'd like to thank all of our wonderful friends and family for being so supportive and welcoming the announcement. It is amazing to know that when our sixth child is born he or she will be loved and cherished. We have had an overwhelmingly positive response and couldn't ask for more. Sure there were a small number of negatives but very few and easy to brush off. Just in case you are still holding your tongue...no we don't know what causes it and no there are no immediate plans to fix anything that isn't broken. lol

Many mamas who responded asked how far along I was ( a few weeks, not totally sure) and why I chose to announce so early. Amongst pregnant women its pretty commonplace to wait until you are a couple months into the pregnancy to tell the world, but we chose to announce pretty quickly and I have a few reasons. Many families are concerned about miscarriage and those often happen in the first few weeks so it makes sense to keep mum.

1. I cant keep a secret.

well not an exciting one anyway lol. deep inside, though i expected a few rude comments, I knew a baby is a blessing and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I knew there were many people who would love our baby and love to know about our growing secret. Even though this will be our sixth baby, it is still really exciting to share. If you thought it might get old , think again. Just like every first time mom, I'm wondering what color hair the baby will have, talking baby names, and promising to eat better. Pregnancy is never boring, even when it has become commonplace in your household :)

2. The possibility of loss (yes i know, this is the big reason most people don't tell)

For me, I spill the beans. I already love this baby though it was an unplanned pregnancy. this is already a member of my family and a sibling to my children and a piece of my heart. In the event that I lose this baby it will be all of these same supportive people  both online and in person, whom i will turn to for support and comfort.

Somewhere in between my fourth and fifth child, we had a loss. I was fifteen weeks pregnant, and nobody knew. I cried, I went to the hospital, I slept, I was sad, it was very very hard. I did share my loss with a few close friends, but truth be told that took me days. I had to both announce a pregnancy and explain my sorrow. By the time i could speak of the pregnancy the worst was over. I no longer needed help with the other children, or meals, or a phone call or visit just to check on me (well maybe we all need those all the time :). So , for me, the choice to tell is a simple one. More people praying for the safety and health of our new blessing and more people there for me in the event that I need them.

I am sure this is not a choice for everyone. There is a disappointment factor and everyone handles grief and excitement in their own way. I would never propose to know the BEST way to do anything, but for me this is what works and I have my reasons.

When it comes to telling the siblings, they know almost as soon as we do. For the same reasons of course. I am not one of those parents who thinks me and my kids are best buddies however our family is a team. Its hard to keep a secret like that from your loved ones, especially the very ones who are probably the most excited. We let the kiddos know pretty quickly, and if we were to lose the baby it will be ok for them to cry with me, and ask me questions, and learn how fragile life can be. In most cases we will have a wonderful healthy pregnancy, and the kids will understand why I might be sick, or why i ate the entire box of fruit snacks. For us it just seems to fit when everyone is in the know.