Day 13 the love dare

Day 11=== Love Dare fail!!!!!!!! Ive been doing good so far, but alas, everyone fails every once in awhile. days like this im glad Beau is still in the dark about the dare. I was supposed to give in to an area of disagreement. Well at first that was hard because we didnt really have one going on atm....but then it got harder. I hate to sit in on the weekends, i want to be out and about making fun blogposts memories with the family. Beau was ready for a rest........to which i replied, the kids need to get out, i need to get out, we don't do alot of exciting things during the week and it is our responsibility to do so on the weekends, we need to help Piper on her two wheeled bike, Pearce loves the park, YOU are being selfish, and so, i retreated to my Kindle. As you can see, yes i suppose he got his way, but I'm certain this was not the way the dare intended :(

But God is Good! Amen, I am forgiven, it is a new day, a new dare and its time to move on. Beau is over it (I'm fortunate to have a hubby who forgives and forgets fast). I have to work hard to follow in his footsteps.

and soo I proceed...........

day 13

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand- Mark 3:25

For many of us, this mostly relates to child-rearing. I am fortunate that somewhere, some anonymous so and so gave Beau and I a good piece of advice when it came to parenting. PRESENT A UNIFIED FRONT! This advice bodes well for war as well :) recall the phrase, divide and conquer? it works. So while Beau and I do not always agree on parenting (im still pushing the whole mom bathes girls/dad bathes boys theory to no avail) we do not let them know..ever. We discuss in private and so far we have few disagreements when it comes to parenting. I got a head start at learning from parenting mistakes so in general Beau defaults to my advice........but he does have a bit more experience at being male and I try to remember that as well :)

All tiffs wont be about parenting tho. Unfortunately weathering the storm is a part of life, and a key part of partnership. It tests us and reveals what we are truly made of. The largest wounds to a marriage are done in the heat of the battle, when tempers are hot. The key to preventing permanent battle scars is not to prevent the argument, but to fight fair in love. This starts with setting boundaries and rules. The book suggests a few.

1. Never mention divorce ( we have evoked that one)
2. Never bring up the past (easier said than done)
3. Never fight in public or in front of kids (we have that one but occasionally slip)
4. Never touch one another in a harmful way (not an issue for us but an important rule nonetheless)
5. Never go to bed angry (yeah yeah yeah)

we have another one 6. no name calling or cursing..........changed everything for us, arguments end alot faster!

"fighting fair means changing your weapons". throw out the sharp tongue and harmful words. pick up clear explanations of feelings, a calm attitude, and research if need be :)

todays dare : talk to your partner about your rules. if your mate isn't ready for this, decide on the rules that will apply to you during your next argument.