day 7 the Love Dare

Day 6 went easily. No conflict, all was hunky dory in happy domestic suburb land. So technically I did great, I showed not one ounce of irritation to the hubster so I'm feeling pretty good. I even let it spill over to the kids and was cool and calm letting things go, and wouldn't you know we got a ton of school done, all by noon, and plenty of errands too :) Yep , being low stress was pretty great!

I tried my best to make a list of areas where I need to add margin to my schedule. I couldn't really come up with a list per se but I did decide to make more time for friends (for me and the kids). I'm often so busy cooking, cleaning, schooling etc etc to take the day to do nothing but hang with friends just enjoying ourselves and building relationships. I'm taking my first leap and on Thursday, instead of cleaning and schooling and adhering to my mom schedule, I'm hosting a babywearing playdate for my Colorado babywearing friends (Denver mamas, you are most certainly invited!). Its a start right ?

all in all a pretty easy day for the Love Dare! 




Day 7    Love Believes all things, hopes all things ...1 Corinthians 13:7

This day is all about appreciation. Everyone who loves someone has a little place in their heart where they store all the special, wonderful memories of that person. All the good things they have done, the characteristics you love about them, their talents, etc. Thinking about these attributes quickly make you grateful for your mate.

Unfortunately we also have a different place where we keep our negative thoughts and memories, their weaknesses and failures. The more time you spend in this place, the worse off your relationship becomes. This is where comebacks are stored for the next argument and divorces begin to grow.

Of course these things are real memories, and they are valid. But knowing that, Love can choose not to dwell in that place. Love doesnt run to this room looking for defense (I'm guessing this is what Beau was talking about in day 5). Love is quick to forgive knowing we are all human, all sinners, and all far from perfect in the marriage department. "Love chooses to believe the best about people".

In love we can choose to dwell on the dreams, talents, hopes and cherished memories yet to be realized. The only reason to dwell on the past is to remember how all those failures and flaws have been covered by the blood of Christ.

I believe the reason I am still married today lies in a decision I made long ago. It came about after our first argument in Alaska, over something petty im sure. We had just moved there and my husband was the only soul i knew. When we weren't speaking i quickly realized that I was alone, and it didnt feel great. Shortly afterwards I decided that unless the issue is such that would make me consider divorce, it is not worthy of an argument. Since that day of course we have disagreements, but rarely do we truly fight because we drop it pretty quickly. I literally think to myself "im not getting divorced over it so whats the point". If its important to discuss then no doubt, we still do, but no name calling, no low blows, in the end we let it go. We certainly arent perfect, but this rule definitely helps keep me in check!

Today's dare.....get two sheets of paper, write all your spouses positive attributes on one, and negatives on the other. keep both in a special place for later use. At some point throughout the day, look at your positive sheet and thank your spouse for having this characteristic! I think this will be a fun one :)