life as a military wife

many of my military mama buddies and I are asked often "how do you do it". I'm not sure that its a question anyone could answer in full but it is definitely a different lifestyle. As a military wife you sit in the passenger seat aboard the vehicle Uncertainty. At times you are handed certainty but that only means that your husband is gone serving our country. the only certainty is that he will not be at your dinner table. Never do you truly leave the vehicle because you can never be certain of his return :( My husband has served one tour in Iraq for 15months. For those who are non-military (civies we call you lol) this sounds horrible. For our family it is certainly a blessing. We are the lucky ones, who have only been called once while many if not most are serving their second, third, even fourth turns at war. Add to that there are many assignments which are unaccompanied, though not at war, meaning many of these soldiers have served a couple of years in Iraq or Afghanistan and a year in Korea, out of war, but still away from their families. It is not the location of the soldier but the time apart that can devastate the family back home. A year can change alot, kids grow, priorities change, major life choices get made. Military families have adapted and balance these trials, often with difficulty, but no other family does it better :)





Though war and deployment are the main function of military life there are so many unique characteristics that set us apart. The most obvious is that we move... alot. Take all the reasons normal folks move (outgrew the house, house is old and falling apart, got a job promotion etc.) and add to that a move every three years or so regardless. Often we move from state to state or even overseas, but we still have to move in between occasionally because our house is full of asbestos or we have had a baby and need more space. We know all the tricks and employ lots of help but we get the job done, and fast. People wonder why or how we get some much done so quickly but we have to. Remember that vehicle, Uncertainty, he can come anytime. He has more than once presented himself in the form of a move. There is a saying common amongst army wives when asked the typical questions (when is your husband coming home, how long will you be living here, where will you go next). Whatever answer you get will almost allways be followed with "but who knows, its the Army". The hardest lesson I had to learn during our first years was that everything is subject to change. Ive learned to embrace it and rather enjoy it. As a Christian there has been no easier way to know that God is in control than to be told you must sign in to your new duty station in 9 days (not a common occurrence but it has happened). Let go and let God right?



Military wives have an amazing ability to adapt and this extends to the kiddos as well. in my time as an army wife we have endured four major family moves. we have lived in the swamp, the desert, the tundra and now the mountains. Each move has carried with it unique challenges, but never once have the kids expressed anything but excitement. they look forward to new activities, a new home, new friends etc etc. Its all a part of the fun game that has become military life. The best part about it is the strength it has given our family unit. The dependence upon each other and love for companionship within our walls. Home is truly where the heart is.

Of course, that is not to say that we dont need friends. Military friends are some of the best around. There are none more devoted and loyal. None more proud and supportive. Upon initial meeting, it is not unlike a military wife to offer babysitting, a cup of joe, her crib or a meal from her kitchen. Each and every military wife has been through trying times and can almost always express some sort of empathy. Our bonds extend far beyond husbands wearing the same uniform. Much like the tv show, on a military base you find women from all walks of life who cry on each others shoulder, fix each others cars, and care for each others children. I have friends from wealth, poverty, friends who are artists, career women, fitness buffs,spanish teachers, friends who live in makeup and those who havent ever owned any, yet we are all united as military wives. I feel so privileged to be one and even more privileged to have so many. There are just certain things that remind you exactly why we do what we do.

How we survive the moves and deployments, the births without husbands and years playing both parents, i do not know but why we do it is all to clear. To support our soldiers so that they may provide and protect our families and the families of this great nation that pray for their safety and even the ones who could care less. It most definitely has nothing to do with the ever fading military discount :)

I do have to hand it to those military dads. They do all the same things we moms do but probably with fewer pampered chef parties to fill in the gaps.